Showing posts from 2011

I See You

Of late, I've been feeling lonely, absolutely invisible to those around me.  Ever been there?  Regardless of whether it was at work, home, or in my prayer group, I felt as if my actions, presence, and words were ignored.  Disregard hung on me like a bad suit. The more it hung around; the more focus I gave it. 

On Sunday, ITWAS STILLTHERE.  I got dressed and sadly rode to church.  Heavy-hearted, unannounced, and unnoticed, I slipped into the auditorium.  I desperately wanted to hear from God.  With anticipation, I retrieved my journal and pen and waited to record his voice.   The music began, I set my journal aside and rose to worship.  As held my hands up and imbibed the worship music, my focus imperceptibly changed. A thought crossed the movie marquee of my mind, "I AM with you. I seeyou."  

BOOM there it was in my mind's eye...the blue people of Avatar.  The voice of a Navee saying, "I see you."  In the Navee culture it meant to see all of you...into your…

Go Confidently

As I was chatting with my hubby one evening about a particular decision point in our life, God decided to give us a little object lesson.  As hubby and I were IMing back and forth, a student questioned my husband repeatedly on a subject that already been put to bed.  The student badgered Chris; Chris remained firm. 

As the student left, the conversation hubby and I were having over chat took a turn in another direction...ours.  Take a peek...
Report · 9:09pm Why is it when I tell a student something, which is an answer to thier question they have to ask me a half dozen other questions and then proceed to try and get around my previous answer. Report · 9:10pm Because you didn't answer the way they wanted.
Report · 9:10pm Ahh
Report · 9:10pm Wonder if God ever thinks that about us? Report · 9:11pm I'm sure that he does, and probably does the same thing that I do, ( most days) just repeat my answer and ask if they need further clarification.
Report · 9:12pm So do you think this is happening…

Keep Your Eyes On Me

Carrying an extra 80 pounds on my frame, my arms and legs felt as if they were in mud.  Spying the quarter mile marker, my daughter informed me, "Mom, there's the line; let's turn around."  Tired and breathless, I managed, "Ash, I could turn back now, but I haven't crossed the line yet.  I have to finish.  This is just the half way point." 
I lumbered a little farther across the line and then turned around to complete the mile and a half circuit.

What dawned on me is I really did want to quit.  I really did want to give up and turn around.  You see, the situation I'm in overwhelms me to the point that I don't have any answers and feel powerless against it. 

Have you gotten to that point in your life yet?  Are you hemmed in by your circumstances so much that you feel like an paraplegic lying flat on your back on the ground looking up while screaming, "God, what is it? You have my attention. What do you want with me?"

Friend, if your a…

Rainbow Blessings

Yesterday, as I was coming to work, it was a BRIGHT and sunny morning. The sun couldn't have been larger in the sky. I'm singing to a song on the radio and the BLAMMO the sky opens up and a torrential downpour begins. No sign of clouds anywhere, none. Just the huge, bright sun and a ton of rain. So, I was absolutely sure there would be a rainbow. I knew it and started to look for it.

Why? Why did I look for the rainbow? Two reasons 1) Rain plus sunshine = a rainbow.  It is a scientific fact. 2) Rainbows remind me of God's promise to Noah Genesis 8:21 and Genesis 9:16. 3) Looking for the promised rainbow always distracts me from the torrential downpour.

I looked and looked for it for an hour, but I didn't see it. In my heart I knew it was there, but I wanted to see it. But...I knew there had to be one. In fact, I asked every customer for an hour, "Did you see the rainbow? There was rain and bright sun. I know there is one." Finally, a lady told me, "I di…

Can You Handle the Truth? (Part 1)


  "Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Weinburg?", the computer whirred while Col. Jessup continued his monologue.    "You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall."

As A Few Good Men  played on,  I thought about how famous that movie made the phrase, "You can't handle the truth." Almost 20 years after the movie has sunset from the silver screen that line has become part of our vernacular.

I mused over the word truth.  What danced through my mind next was the fact that most people are on a search it, but when it reveals itself, most folks simply "can't handle the truth", but WHY?

As I sat pondering the big old WHY question, a small voice whispered, "if you truly recognized what is absolute truth and absorbed it, then you would be…

The Real Story

The REAL STORY is not about me.  The REAL STORY is about HIM.  The Him that loves you more than you can ever think, hope, or imagine.   Click above and read the REAL STORY that will change your life.

Grandmother's Garden

When I need a boost, I go outside. It recharges me mentally, physically, emotionally, and most of all spiritually. When I look at nature, I am reminded of my creator and his love for his creation. In fact, everywhere I look in my Grandmother’s garden I see the revelation of God.

Roses appear to be delicate and fragile, but the more you cut them back and dead head them the more they grow and the stronger the plant gets. This flower always reminds me of the pruning process the Lord puts his children through. It is not a “feel good” thing to have stuff cut away, but God, the Constant Gardner, wants us to grow and be strong. He dead heads the things in our lives that drain us and keep us from being beautiful and fruitful.

In Matthew 6:25 -34 Lilies are quoted to be more beautifully arrayed than Solomon in all of his splendor and that if God would adorn the grass of the field like that, then how much more does he care for us? So, anytime I see lilies, I always sing to the reggae song by Bo…

One Glorious Day

The computer sound was low, but I could hear ever so faintly, "Don't ever ask to leave this tower again."  My mind whirred to place the line from the new movie Tangled.  "Oh, yes," I thought, "This was the evil reply from the witch to Rapunzel's innocent request to be set free."

"To be set free...." my mind rolled over the words, "To be set free.  To be set free.  F-R-E-E-D-O-M." In my mind's eye, I saw the picture again. An empty Sumo Wrestler costume hung there waving in the breeze.  I rubbed my eyes.  The picture remained.  I took a minute to study the picture because I couldn't figure out why it was flapping in the breeze.  It was like it was hung up on something.  Then I saw it bigger than day.  The sumo suit was hanging on the CROSS.

Softly, gently I heard deep down in my heart, "This battle is already won.  The freedom that you seek has already been paid for by me.  This battle is already won.  Keep your eye…

Bust a Flame in Your Heart

With a lot of practice, perserverance, and poking, I am now an expert flame buster and wood burner.When I first  began the winter with this wood stove, I had no idea on how to start a fire in it. However, I have learned how to prepare the wood so it accepts the flame and burns hot and long.

I have accumulated a lot of knowledge in my quest for fire. One thing fact about wood is that it is different from tree to tree, diverse in its composition, color, and its combustability.

I have decided that if I were a tree that I would like to be a cedar tree.  Cedar is a softwood so it catches easily.  It burns so hot that it catches even the most dense,stubborn red oak on fire.  Cedar is talkative.  It puts Rice Krispies to shame the way it SNAPS, CRACKLES, and POPS!  A burning cedar log has popped several flaming embers at once across our living room.  They most certainly spread the word far and wide.  Cedars are coniferous meaning they are evergreens, you know, eternal.  They are versatile w…

Heaven Scent

I strode through the freshly mopped living room with the fragrant scent of lavender in my nostrils.  "Ah, my husband will love this", I thought.  "Nice clean floor, fresh clean scent.  I'll hop in the shower so Hubby will come home to a clean house and a clean bride."

I started the shower.  The heat and mist from created a fine fog that rose to the bathroom ceiling.  As I stood there watching it, I could hear a verse playing in my head. 

"And when he [the Lamb] had taken it, the four living creatures and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb. Each one had a harp and they were holding golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of God’s people."  (Revelation 5:8 NIV 2010)

Enjoying the heat of the shower, I closed my eyes.  The verse meandered through my mind again and stopped on the last part..."they were holding golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of God's people."  My eyes flashed open as my heart ful…

Bread Addict

The story that follows is written from the first person perspective.  I will have several installments to follow.  Through them, I hope to  illustrate what transformation looks like when you turn your life over to Jesus Christ.  Although a good many things in the story are true about my life, my being in an AA situation is not true.  I used a therapuetic group setting to bring out the fact that God  can and does love and help people who are users of illicit drugs, food, sex, and alcohol.  He came to set the captives free.
Nervously, I think about standing up to talk.  My gut flips and flops.  With an advesary on one shoulder and an advocate on the other, the debate begins.

The devil shouts in my ear, "Sit down.  You don't have a problem.  You aren't dealing with heroin, booze, or porn like these other people.   You have to eat to live, duh.  You have to work to support your family, c'mon.  You aren'…

Who Will Love Me For Me?

Several nights ago, the sound of a large animal attacking something outside my cabin woke me up.  Startled and scared, I turned on the porch light and looked out my window. From there, I could see Fat Puppy, my 110 lb. Malamute, going after something with a vengeance.  The noise was horible and viscious sounding.  Finally, she backed off, and I could see what she was attacking.  It was Todd.  He was road-weary, skinny, and oozy-eyed.   The wag from his tail was almost gone.  Something as scared and cold as he certainly couldn't wag his tail with it tucked beneath him and his head hung low.  For a beagle, Todd had lost his happy.`

It is common to see hunting dogs wandering around these parts unaccompanied.  Some folks just turn them out for the winter to roam and fend for themselves.  I call him Todd because that is all that is printed on his collar, "TODD HESS 349-2312". I figured that it would be easy to call the owner and reconnect Man and his best friend.  However, it…

The Wrong Side of the Door

The animals are conspiring against me.  Just when I thought it was safe to go to sleep....

"ZZZZZzzzzzzz" drool flowed like a river down my chin and onto my pillow.
"Scritch, scritch, scritch", went the little furry paw on my bedroom door.  The dog began howling.
"Don't these animals know it's cold outside?  I am quite content in my warm cocoon.  Why are they never happy where they are?", I moaned.
A voice answered, "They aren't much different than the rest of creation now are they?  Always on the 'wrong side' of the door."

Disturbed by the dream, I bolted upright in the bed.  "Wrong side of the door? What's that mean? Which door?"  Bleary eyed, I stumbled to the kitchen, made the coffee, retrieved wood, and started a fire in the woodstove.

Poking the fire, I repeated over and over to myself, "Wrong side of the door, wrong side of the door." (Fires are great for cogitating.) Poke.  Poke.  Poke.   &quo…

The Roadkill Diner and Truckstop

I went out for a walk with my dog to pray and to off load some frustration, yesterday.  Healthy, right?
On the walk, I noticed a really nasty piece of road kill. I thought my fat puppy was going to pull my arm off trying to get to it.  But, to my surprise, she looked at it and with a flourish of her fluffy tail, she kept on walking.  I congratulated fat puppy in my doggy baby voice, "Oh, Moo, Moo you are such a good girl.  You have been eating less and you just kept on going.  You are such a good girl."  I walked on a bit then a thought wiggled through my noggin, "With how frustrated I am right now, if that was a loaf of garlic bread, would I have as much restraint as the dog?"
I've been on a weight loss journey for about a year now.  I can literally say that I have mourned and celebrated the same eight pounds gained and lost for this year.  I could have reached my goal by now. What is so ridiculous is that I have been given a GPS for the journey. Through prayer…

Orange is a Food Group

Orange is a food group.  I am officially declaring it on behalf of my four year old son.  He only eats food that is the color orange or compliments the color orange.  The list that follows includes foods that are ALLOWED to come in contact with his delicate palate: orange chickies, orange jello, yellow apple juice, tan applesauce, orange madarine oranges, white flour tortillas and orange macaroni and cheese.  Sometimes, he might add 'redish pinkish' bologna.  I know, I know....gross.  However, right now, it's either this or starvation.

The pediatrician has chastised me. Friends are split.  Some say that I should not give him anything else but what everyone else is eating.  Other friends say that he won't eat this way forever.  Parenting books say that it isn't a hill worth dying on and that the problem will correct itself.  But oh, Dr. Spock, don't you know that I have a forty something year old friend who won't eat anything with cooked onions in it becau…

Laundry Stomping Good Time

Here's something new and antiquated at the same time, hand washing all of your clothes using a wash tub, scrub board, and laundry line.  I know what you are thinking..."um, have you lost your mind or just completely sold out to the Amish? " Actually, no, but I do wonder sometimes what the cats think of me.

Now that it is winter, it's a little harder to hang the clothes out to dry on the line, but it can be done.  During the summer, I was a washing wench fool.  Through trial and error, I have learned four pivotal things about laundry.

Lessons Learned
1)  Don't wait two weeks to wash clothes.

Hubby made me a neat little wash tub out of a 5 gallon bucket, gamma seal, and plunger.  It was great, but not for two weeks worth of clothes. On the bright side, I got one heck of a bi-cep/tri-cep work out.

2)  The bathtub makes a fine wash tub and provides a hyper 4 year old with tons of entertainment and exercise.

Well, when you wait too long to wash 'em, they are not go…

Tybee Pete: Semper Fidelis

Three years, two months and fourteen days ago, my Father called me on the phone for the last time.

“Hello, Baby”
“Daddy, what’s up?” Even at 40, I still called him Daddy.

His affable, Southern drawl was slurred and jumbled, “Baby, I need your help. I need you to take care of my business. I went to emergency room at the hospital. The doctor said I was real sick, but I dunno. I left there.  Come down here, please."  “I’m getting in the car now.” I drove from Atlanta to Savannah at a speed which we call in the South ‘flying low’. That term is typically reserved for NASCAR speeds or when one is late to the Wednesday night fellowship supper at the Baptist Church. My mind raced, “What on earth does he mean ‘I lef there’?” My mind flitted around to different topics as I drove. Husband, kids, what to do; finally, it alit on the chaos of the Baker clan.

We Baker’s were a boisterous bunch. Southern dysfunction is in a category all on its own. Picture Archie Bunker’s family, but with Southern…